Someone’s Been Sleeping In My Bed

It’s a cold night and it’s time for bed and don’t you just hate crawling between those stiff, chilly cotton sheets on your bed? You do this on a nightly basis and now that you’re on vacation, let’s say, in England, for instance, and it’s not so much fun. Vacation is supposed to be a getaway from all the normalcies of the day to day, a time to pamper yourself a little.

Lucky for you, you’re in England and you’re even more fortunate that you’re staying at a Holiday Inn, perhaps one of the three in Britain that offers a bed warming service; a human bed-warming service. Yes, that’s right, someone to tuck himself (or, herself) between your covers and warm up your bed to a satisfying, cozy sleep inducing 20 degrees Celsius. That’s 68 degrees Fahrenheit.

This bed warmer, says a spokesperson from the hotel chain, would be fully dressed in an all in one fleece jumper, including having his or her hair covered, get your bed all toasty warm and slip on out of there before you, the guest comes to occupy the bed.

So, what? How does this work? I mean, how soon before you get to your room is this person there? Do you call on your way from wherever you spent your evening and tell the front desk to send up the human water bottle? And once the bed is at the correct temperature, does the person leave, allowing your warm little sanctuary to start cooling? Do he wait for you and you pass each other at the door? Does he wait until you are completely ready for bed, thus putting the kibosh on any pre-bedtime…well, you know…?

Wouldn’t electric blankets be just as effective? Or turning up the heat in the room? Or perhaps bringing along your own human bed warmer?

It’s just kind of creepy to think that someone was in your bed just moments before you climbed into it for the night. Oh, I know, if you really want to examine it at length, it’s kind of creepy to think about who the guest was the night before who slept in that same bed, but by then the linens have been changed, so you take a leap of faith that nothing too weird occurred that a fresh set of sheets can’t disguise. But even though he’s securely sealed into his own job uniform, what if your bed warmer guy passed gas in your bed?

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One Response to “Someone’s Been Sleeping In My Bed”

  1. Donna Says:

    I saw the headline of human bed warmer the other day but didn’t read the article. I’m with you…creepy! And yeah, how DOES that work!? I don’t like the idea. I personall like the idea of a heated matress pad.

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