The Ban On…, Er… The Ban On…

Everyday you hear of something that’s being banned; smoking, runny eggs (every now and then), long hair in schools (“tater tot”), talking on a cell phone while driving, the dictionary. Well, there was a ban on the dictionary, the Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary-10th Edition in a California school but that was so last week. This is a new time and the dictionary has been restored to its evilly influential vitality.

It was at the Oak Meadows Elementary School in Menifee, California that parents were outraged over the definition of oral s-e-x. These people find the act itself unnatural and because within the pages of the tome it was defined to readers what it was, they demanded the book be removed from the shelves and it was.

But the ban has been lifted for students whose parents chose to sign a permission slip. Those that would rather their angels’ eyes didn’t fall on such provocative terms, can opt for alternative dictionaries.

You know what’s funny? I happen to have that edition and I cannot find oral sex at all. The entries go from ORAL, to ORAL HISTORY, to ORALISM, to ORANG (short for orangutan). Hmm. The “F” word is in there, though, along with it’s origin, which is taken from the Dutch word “fokken” which means to breed (as in cattle) and the Swedish word “fokka”, which means to copulate. Did you know the word was first used in the 15 th Century? But somehow those parents seemed to overlook this one. Very useful tool, this dictionary. I’m gonna go see what other smut I can find.

I was also wanted to say something about how high blood pressure can have a long-term effect on memory, but I forgot what I was going to say.

 

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