Round And Round To The Poor House…or To Hell!

In Warsaw, Poland, a priest installed an electronic fingerprint reader to monitor the schoolchildren’s attendance at mass. Over three years, the students will mark their fingerprints and if they attend 200 masses, they will be freed of the obligation to pass an exam prior to their confirmation. The kids like it, they say, because it saves time of having to wait in line to get the priest’s signature that they attended mass. I’m gonna go to Hell for this, but it was he, Grzegorz Sowa, the priest who invented the fingerprint reader, who was probably tired of signing off on all the students’ attendance. And if I’m not going to Hell for that, then it’ll probably be for the time I refused to make an offering in a Catholic church during a confirmation ceremony I was attending. When it came to the part when the priest was offering communion to the congregation, he actually announced that anyone who was not Catholic to not bother going up. Well, that put my back right up, especially since the collection plate was making its way toward me as I sat in an insulted funk. And if I’m not going to Hell for that, then it’ll be for something, I’m sure.

Really, wouldn’t you like to just do this to somebody…anybody, sometimes?

Go directly to jail, do not collect two million dollars.  Wait, no, two hundred, right? Nope, not any more, not in the newest version of the board game Monopoly.  Monopoly is turning 75 years old and to celebrate, it’s getting a facelift and, apparently, a larger budget. Among some of the changes, besides what you can collect for passing “Go”. Purchases and rents will be paid for with credit cards and the banker is now electronic.  The iconic metal game pieces are now plastic pieces with images of the original pieces on them. And there will be sound effects like a jail cell door closing and there is also music such as Elton John’s “Rocket Man” and Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day”.  Oh yeah, and the board is now round.

 

Yesterday, Ariel sent me a link to something that started out being a joke, the UniLazy, something he thought would fit perfectly along the lines of the ludicrous Snuggie or a Slanket, but I immediately took it as a more practical item and after a moment of consideration, he, too, saw its usefulness…for camping. It can get cold up there in the mountains, even in July and August. Why, we’ve had nights that were in the high 30’s. Once you’re away from the huge bonfire, that chill goes right through you. Not to mention half the time we’re dodging the rain, but this is a story about the cold. So, right away, when I mentioned how great they’d be for camping, we ordered up two of them. This pink is just one of the colors it comes in, but we opted for a little more subtlety and got a black one and a gray one. What you don’t see in the picture is the zippered rear trap door. And the front fly is a dual system so that you don’t have to undo the entire front to do your business (provided you’re a guy) and you can still stay warm. The only thing that wouldn’t be cool would be sewn-in feet only because what would you do with them when it’s wet and muddy (as it inevitably will be, to be sure). But these don’t have them

And click below to see what those two nutty newts were up to last night.

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: