Stop The Presses

Remember the story about Contsance McMillen, the teenage lesbian from Mississippi that was banned from attending her prom with her girlfriend? Well, she just won a lawsuit against the school district to the tune of $35,000. She was relieved when she learned about the settlement and said it’s “Not for the money, but the policies”, but nowhere in the article I’m reading does it say anything about her not keeping the money. So, maybe it was a little for the money and the fifteen minutes of fame that it brought her. Do I hear book deal?

Lonnie Irvin Pinnix probably would feel sorry for her, but he’s got his own stuff to worry about. The 38-year-old was charged with loading a black powder pistol with toilet paper. But, wait, there’s more. He fired it and was subsequently charged with assault with a deadly weapon and was held on a thousand dollar bond. Yeah, 38- year-old Lonnie was really sore when his wife, 55-year -old Mrs. P. came home after midnight Tuesday. She crawled into bed but agitated Lonnie insisted she get up. She didn’t and he took a shot at her, hitting her in the back and she lay in bed crying until police arrived at around 1:50 am. She was taken to a hospital and treated for powder burns. Now THAT was a sh!tty thing to do. Kind of like that Angel Soft toilet paper commercial when a roll of paper goes whizzing by the husband’s head and razes a racing stripe through  his hair.

Talking about Bonomo Turkish Taffy the other day made me a little nostalgic for another childhood treat, but then, who wouldn’t remember running down the street with their friends after the ice cream truck, yelling STOP at the top of their lungs? If you happen to live in London, you might still be running after the truck for a treat, and it might just be your dog leading the way, especially if the familiar jingling bells have been replaced by the theme to Scooby Doo.

The vehicle, The K99, debuted at this year’s Boomerang Pets Party. Sall Bezant, event spokesperson thought it was time that man’s best friend had something more than a bowl of water to cool off and now Fido has a choice between “Dog Eat Hog World” which is a ham and chicken sorbet topped with a biscuit and served in a cone, or “Canine Crunch”, dog biscuits and ice cream, a sort of cookies and cream. I hope there’s a lower door for the poor little Chihuahua that might otherwise get trampled on or ignored.

I ran after an ice cream truck once and slipped in my driveway and scraped my knee. It hurt like an SOB. My mother heard me scream and brought me in to clean it up and the ice cream man waited. Just a little side story for your amusement.

And for those of you who only wanted the latest copy to read the articles, you can now say that with conviction. Playboy magazine has introduced a safe-for-work online version that still contains salacious written content, but no graphic images, though images of scantily clad women barely (ha, I said barely) revealing anything are available. Playboy is hoping to boost it’s sagging revenues from a decline in magazine sales since the internet is the place to go for free to see the same thing, if not more.


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