Where Is Loverboy When You Need Them

I’m back, but briefly. I’m at the end of my work week and it’s been a grueling one indeed and I have four more days, including tomorrow and Sunday to meet the end of the month deadline, working for the weekend, so to speak.

I never even got to tell you about the wedding I missed. From the sound of it, it was a dodged bullet, but one that now I wish I had attended so I could blog about it firsthand. The story spilled out over last weekend when we were out to dinner with my aunt and uncle, who had the great fortune to attend said Floridian wedding as, VFW’ish as can get in which the bridesmaids, of a considerable advanced age, flashed not only each other, but the attendees, (and I also understand there was nether-region grabbing of some of the guests) some of whom traveled all the way from the great Garden State. It was moments before I dug into a long awaited queen cut prime rib with the saltiest wild mushroom demi glaze known to man, which ended up being completely inedible that this indelible story was told. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I was so disappointed because no amount of scraping off the sauce or sopping it up helped. The very first bite was so salty that burned my throat on the way down, but I could feel the pressure rise up in my head. Now THAT’s salty.

I didn’t want to do it, but I”m afraid I must. I must tell you that I’ve finally learned the secret pathway to fame, and perhaps fortune and it’s not by sweating and dropping a few tears and an errant ‘y’ now and then as you toil over your keyboard in the hopes of penning the world’s next greatest novel, hoping to get recognized. It doesn’t even require much talent. No, it’s as simple as a few key elements; abs of steel, a tan, a tube of hair gel and there was one more thing…oh, yeah, a clean shirt. You know, “gym, tan, laundry.” Not only does Mike Sorrentino garner sixty thousand dollars an episode on The Jersey Shore (and an iconic American art form known as the Soap Opera suffers in the balance) he also takes in between fifteen and fifty thousand dollars for personal appearances. He’s set to release a fitness video and also a line of “dietary” supplements. Once you get all toned like Mikey there, you can buy one of his shirts which I’m sure will be easy to lift to reveal all your hard work in the gym after he starts his fashion line. You can keep yourself refreshed and recharged knowing that he also drinks Vitamin Water and you can relax on Monday nights with a good gimlet made with yummy, Situation-promoted Devotion vodka while you watch him tear up the dance floor on Dancing With The Stars where it is reported that if he makes it to final round he can make as much as $365,000. But wait, there’s more. He has applied to copyright and trademark the words “The Situation”. He just received and undisclosed (nor confirmed, actually) six figure advance to for the new literary classic he’s about to write: Here’s The Situation.  Ah, but it’ll be over in about fifteen minutes.

Yeah, and I’ll be working all weekend, making my humble little living in my humble little home office, posting my end of the month numbers, cancelling the plans I had and damning my little beer belly for not being published yet.  Speaking of  beer belly, I’m also sad to say and make my apologies to those of you affected by any bogus notifications you might have gotten, I don’t really have sexy pictures in my profile. That’s a message that seems to be popping up on some of my email contacts’ computers (it is also happening to me from others) but I’m here to tell you and I’m sorry to disappoint you, I don’t have any sexy pictures. I mean, look at me! So if you get that message, don’t open it.

And even though the house project is moving along, yesterday was probably one of the more frustrating, if not THE most annoying since this entire project began. Just trying to make contact with a certain “other” party ( not the Lou-natics), who apparently has a sense of self-importance that there is no time to talk on the phone for two lousy seconds because all of this party’s business is conducted through email, email that also goes unanswered. It was an underlying factor throughout the entire day until it finally got semi-resolved by late afternoon.

But I have a few more pictures and now with the latest addition, the brickwork can get progress.


Whoops, I said briefly, didn’t I? Okay, bye!


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