….By The Fourth Of July

Hot time in the city on Saturday night. Westville, Ohio, that is. Stephanie Robinette, a special ed teacher for children with autism, ADHD and other disorders was involved in an intoxicated scuffling with her husband outside a banquet hall, hit him several times then locked herself in their car and refused to emerge until the cops arrived with handcuffs. To fight back, she drew her weapon and began shoo…spraying the cops and their car with the milk from her right breast. She pleaded not guilty to various charges including domestic violence, assault and disorderly conduct. She was released on her own recognizance as long as she has no contact with her husband, or other witnesses and she must also have a mental-health evaluation. The only thing she’s waiting to find out is if she’ll face an additional charge of harassing an officer with a bodily substance, which depends on whether or not the deputies were actually hit with breast milk. Donuts, anyone?

From there we stop in Lebanon, New Hampshire, at the Timberwood Commons apartment complex, where manager Debbie Violette is asking resident dog owners to submit to a saliva test from their pet, which will be sent to PooPrints, in Knoxville, Tennessee, where the database is kept. This way, when a naughty doggie messes, or rather owner…oh wait, care giver (remember our lesson a few blogs back, pets have feelings, too and don’t like to be considered property?) doesn’t clean up afterwards, the sample can be forthwith sent to Tennessee and the mystery of the pooping pooch will be solved. Ah, if only that sort of technology was available to determine who throws all their trash onto my front lawn. How I’d love to return the gallon milk containers, glass soda bottles and the like to their rightful owners.

Knee high by the Fourth of July? As high as your eye by the Fourth of July? Either way, I’m covered. Well, maybe all except that one in the back on the left. Not sure what that’s all about.

In lieu of Provincetown, we made plans several weeks ago to go once again to Asbury Park to celebrate the Fourth of July, like we did last year. We met some friends down there and had a great time, saw the fireworks and had a little time away. Well, true to form….

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