Curtain Up

While we’re on the topic of Broadway shows, I have to get something off my chest. I have another thing to get off my chest that sort of works in tandem with the first thing.

There is a feature on my blog, the tags, found at the bottom of most of my posts that at one time would link the reader, or me, for that matter, to others blogging about similar topics, whether it be those silly Eggies or how badly The Chew is doing in the ratings. Sorry, I vowed I wouldn’t mention that All My Children replacement without an unwarranted reason. Well, anyway, for some reason, the host of this blog has decided to disengage that feature and instead, when I, or you, click on a tag, it simply gathers all the blogs I’ve written on that topic. While I also like that idea since it gives my readers a chance to explore what else I may have done on a particular topic, it’s a bit disappointing since one of the benefits of blogging is to network.

So, what does that have to do with that other thing? Well, besides the fact that I hope I have a vast readership, I also would like to think that somehow these words are getting out to theater owners by way of hyper cyberlinks.

I think it’s time theaters do away with their concession stands. I mean, how important is having that bag of M&M’s during the last 45 minutes of play? Before every performance the announcement is made to turn off all cellphones and pagers, the taking of photographs and recording is strictly prohibited and to unwrap all candies. Enjoy the show. How, then, can the theater justify selling snacks in cellophane wrappers? For the $4 dollars a bag? And how about that popping plastic sound from someone squeezing an empty water bottle? Or sucking the dregs of a soda through a straw? Stop it! Oh yeah, and if the theater would stop selling stuff, the rest of us wouldn’t have to exit through trash laying on the floor. Is this how people are at home? Ignorant?

But people also carry stuff in off the street, blatantly, in shopping bags from the Hershey store or wherever; one time a group of women at a show behind us had sandwiches and french fries.

And a note to you inconsiderate self-important cellphoners, turn OFF your cellphone, don’t just turn the volume down. I’m not paying a premium for my seat to listen to an impromptu concerto of digitized rap songs, that “cool”  ring you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you’re the only one in the world who has it,  and otherwise chirping during an actors monologue.

Going to the theater should be a sophisticated experience, an important experience. For many, it’s a one time shot. Actors have one chance to convey the story in a unique 2 or so hour time frame there is no rewind. Life, unfortunately, is not Tivo.

I don’t know what can be done about the cellphone, that’s just peoples’ stupidity, but as far as other noise that can be controlled, close the snack bar, or have the big burly usher who’s job nowadays is to simply point in the general direction of where your seat is, confiscate all crinkly articles.

Now that I think about it, I think an actual letter to the theaters I’ve been to would be much more effective in getting my point across.

Meanwhile, for ha-ha’s, this past weekend we sorted out our Playbills, to see how many shows we’ve seen and we grouped them by theater.

**That’s a lot of hard-earned cash we’re spending, Mr. Theater owner!

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