Right Down The Middle

Let’s go Cardinals! Gotta route for the National League in the World Series during those times the NY Mets don’t make it. Oh, look! I made a funny. No, really, I’m a NY Mets fan.

So, here’s a few items to close out the week.

From the I Love Inconclusive Research Findings file: Researchers are thinking social networks such as Facebook affect our brain structure. A study has revealed that there is a link between the number of friends one has on Facebook and the size of certain areas of the brain. The only problem is, they’re not sure if it’s a case of cause and effect, or the timeless question of which came first, the chicken or the egg; are those areas of the brain larger in people who have the capability to amass hoards of Facebook friends or does the very collection grow the brain?

I think what’s more important is that Barbie is now all inked up. And why not? The bitch has everything else. Even a gay boyfriend. Remember him? And of course she doesn’t make her inked appearance without some controversy. She will be the ruination of young girls everywhere. I’m stealing this quote another blogger cited. “It [a tattoo] is a lifetime brand which will fade and droop over time as the skin ages.” Note to the owner of this quote, Barbie is plastic. The only way her skin can droop is to throw her in a fire.

Sorry, I have to touch on the Broadway theater one more time, but for a completely different reason. I got sort of lost and momentarily frustrated to the point where I almost went back to the ticket checker lady to ask her if she was joshing me.

I have a real problem with distinguishing between left and right and it seems to be getting worse. I’m not exactly sure when it started, but the most memorable evidence of it was the time my father, Ariel and I went driving while we were visiting in Illinois and my father told me to turn one way and I went the other. And after he corrected me, (and hilarity ensued) the I did it again, this time trying to enter the freeway. He told me, turn in the direction of the hand without the watch. (I don’t wear a watch….) I’ve had several other instances of being confused over left and right, too numerous to name, but most recently when the ticket taker lady told me to go through that door on the left. But when I got up the little stairway through the arch, the only thing on the “left” was that infernal concession stand. The other door next to it was to the gift shop. I was looking in the wrong left because on the correct left were the doorways leading into the theater. Ariel saw I looked confused and asked me about it; must have been the spinning around in a daze that tipped him off.

I looked it up, but there doesn’t seem to be a concise term for it, but it is thought to be connected to bad handwriting (mine’s turning into chicken scratch that even frustrates me–I’ve always prided myself on my penmanship) difficulties with math (I can subtract in the hundreds and wind up with negative in the thousands, which is why I no longer am allowed near the checkbook), dyslexia (that’s not a problem) and schizophrenia….(should I even…?..although there was that one morning at camp when I was telling someone something and ended up scolding myself, telling myself to stop it..hmmm).

I came across this test (click here)to help determine something about left/right confusion but wouldn’t you know it, the results page is not active. I tried it on two computers and still nothing. But, it’s fun to take. After you click on ‘go to the first test’ a series of hands will appear. Read them and then click the ‘finish’ button and note your time.  Then click on ‘continue experiment’ and repeat those steps. After that you’re supposed to be able to enter your two times  and get some sort of result, but I am not about to start fooling with my cookies. So, yet another case from the I Love Inconclusive Research Findings file.

Have a great weekend!


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