Smile! No, Don’t

Maybe it’s because I’m not much of a football fan, other than I know that in some circles football is more of religion than those the world finds itself in wars over, but when you get right down to it, one team had to win and one had to lose. Right?

The other thing that makes me not smile is the new ban on smiling on NJ driver’s license photos because it will louse up facial recognition software. Of course, I can’t figure who’d be smiling anyway after waiting half a day trying to get through a line at the DMV.

It’s all meant to protect against identity theft, but I wonder why, if you have your picture taken with a smile, you couldn’t just smile again when the police question you for whatever crime. And then what happens if you, men especially, grow a beard (or shave off the one you had originally) in between the times your license is valid. Or what if you have different colored contact lenses? Or if you wear glasses and then aren’t wearing them, or vice versa? I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if any sort of personal alteration like a beard or shaving one off, etc, will be against the law.

How about a bona fide finger print and stick that on your license? Maybe a strand of hair encased under the lamination for a surefire DNA identification? A stool sample?

Anything else?

Oh, here’s something. The Warwick, RI owner of a foul-mouthed cockatoo has been slapped with a $15 (yes, fifteen) fine for violating a noise ordinance. The judge in the case says the owner, Lynne Taylor, broke the law that prohibits residents from letting their pets habitually howl, bark, or make other noise. What? Like farting? Then, Taylor’s lawyer says the ordinance is unconstitutional because it’s not specific enough as to what noise is a violation. Turns out it was a neighbor, who coincidentally lives with Taylor’s ex-husband, who made the complaint. My guess is the neighbor is the one who created that ban on father/daughter dances and the parrot was giving her the business about it.

Merry Christmas!


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