Archive for the ‘Just Blathering On…And On’ Category

Dis And Dat-jointed

February 4, 2011

It’s been a long three days since I last blogged. At least it feels long to me. Every now and then the juices dry up. I guess it’s like writer’s block…blogger’s block? That reminds me of that Golden Girls’ episode when Blanche, who decides she’s going to become a great southern novelist like the others so famous they need not be mentioned, complains about having writer’s block, that it’s the worst feeling in the world to which Sophia replies, “Try ten days without a bowel movement sometime!”

Well, since I last blogged, when my car passed inspection, I still haven’t installed the programs back onto my computer. The groundhog did NOT see his shadow so that means an early spring. I tried to replace my mailbox before the ice storm we had on Wednesday but either the plastic post is frozen into the ground or buried into the cement block. As a result, I had to go to extremes to secure my box down. The red cross came and picked up about 10 large lawn and leaf bags stuffed with clothes we cleaned out of our closets; that would be two closets. The hell? Sorry, 3 closets. 10 bags of clothes, though. I found things I forgot I had and because of that it was easy to get rid of stuff. Of course the fact that hardly any of it fit anymore also eased my decision. And one or two pieces I had to hold on to for sentimental reasons.

And…AND…yesterday the railing was installed on the back steps and that means we are one inspection away from hopefully obtaining our CO.

Was not impressed with anybody on the Wednesday night American Idol auditions (where were they, Dallas? – that’s how unimpressed I was, I don’t remember) but last night, in LA, the Gutierrez Brothers sang in gorgeous harmony and were the highlight of the show .

And Sunday is the Superbowl. I’m routing for Pittsburgh.

And there you have it, a short and disjointed blog.

A Saggy Solution

January 5, 2011

Well, this isn’t news, but as recently as December 17 of this past year (2010) the ban on sagging pants in Selma, AL became effective as a result of the 5-2 vote. Pants are considered saggy when they fall more than three inches below the hips. Of course, as with anything, the vote didn’t go smoothly. Councilman Samuel Randolph says the new ordinance “is close to racial profiling” because it is geared to minority kids. If a juvenile is caught with his pants down, so to speak, the parent or guardian will be fined between $25 and $100 and a judge-ordered stint of 20 hours of community service could be ordered. Adults in violation could pay a fine of up to $200 and a possible 40 hours of community service.

I bring this up because I was thinking about this very thing since we were in Philadelphia over the weekend. Well, it really hasn’t consumed my every waking minute, but you know what I mean. We were on our way to breakfast at IHOP across from the hotel on Sunday morning and hardly a soul was out, quite unlike the day before during all the parade hoopla. But there was one young man walking ahead of us, with his entire back end, thankfully shrouded in dark blue Fruit of the Looms (I’m assuming. They could have been BVD’s for all I know, my contacts were dirty and my vision a little fuzzy). Ordinarily, it’s loose fitting boxers that are worn and they bunch up over the jeans’ low waist band. But these were form fitting and the entire full moon was hanging out. Okay, fine. Whatever. Frankly, I don’t know how anyone can walk dressed like that, but to each his own.

I always wondered how those pants stay up in the first place. Well, I found this item that might be a solution to keep saggers’ pants from falling. They’re called Subs and they adjust, I guess to the degree of sag you’re looking for.

It’s funny, isn’t it, how if you wait long enough, things end up coming together? I recently got an email from a friend of mine I’ve been sitting on, deciding when and how and even if I could ever make use of it. But because it seems to have the definitive answer as to how those pants stay up, I decided today was the day. What you’re seeing is this:

What you don’t see, is this: (more…)

Ringing In The New Year (With A Big Thank You!)

January 4, 2011

Well, happy 2011! Everyone’s hangovers gone? Good. I thought and I thought, how, oh how will I start off the new year on my blog, now that the pictures of the work on the house have all been shown and the snow from the Christmas weekend blizzard is still holding its ground in spite of some moderate temperatures. I could tell you how Christmas was, but I believe I already did that. I could tell you I got a delivery of 13 80lb bags of salt for my water softener yesterday, but that’s really boring. I could tell you that yesterday I also had a doctor’s appointment that sort of snuck up on me since I rescheduled it from last November. I was a bad boy and didn’t do what I was supposed to and feared a whoopin’. But, all’s good. Though you wouldn’t believe what the tech told me I weighed. 284. Well, that’s not right. She misread it. It’s really 234. Still not optimal, but now what I should have been at had I followed orders since last June. A-hem! But who wants to hear about a visit to the doctor?

I know! I could tell you how New Year’s was… Briefly, we rang in the New Year in Philly, our revived old tradition from many moons ago. We were all huddled on the dance floor being jostled about like cattle in a hurry to nowhere watching as Dick Clark (he looks good, couldn’t hear him though) and Ryan Seacrest counted down the last minute as the ball dropped right into 2011. On New Year’s Day there was The Mummer’s Parade, of course and then friends of ours were also in Philly so we hooked up with them and subsequently others we know and we tried try to replicate the level of partying we did the night before but by 9 o’clock, everyone was excusing themselves to their respective chambers in various hotel rooms around the city.

Before I go any further, a big special thank you to all my readers. I had an email from WordPress, the host of my blog, to let me know how my had done in the last year. On the blog health-o-meter, I ranked a big WOW!

The busiest day of the year for my blog was December 23 with 146 viewers. My most popular day was “A Wednesday Smorgasbord” posted on July 28. It was the day before President Obama was to speak at The Tastee Sub Shop in Edison and it was the day after Bugs Bunny’s birthday. Thank you one and all, again.

When I first began my blog, it was on my main website.It was intended to help reach prospective agents/publishers, but the message wasn’t getting across. I realized I needed to go further into cyberspace and so I began blogging on WordPress through the same people that hosts my website but, that too, wasn’t reaching as far as it should have. Of course then, they lost all my pictures…how many of you remember that fiasco? There were pictures of all sorts of things like concerts, my garden, me when I was thin and in shape. I’m just kidding, no such picture of that exists. You can see those early blogs by clicking here. This will bring you to 2008 archive page where you can see the very first ones from January and February and then the move to the first incarnation of WordPress. Any newcomers feel free to roam around the site.

Actually, a picture of me with a bit of a six-pack and some actual color on my skin instead of being a pasty fish belly white does exist. If you ask me real nice, I’ll post it in the future.

So for over a year I’ve been with WordPress proper and it’s a more far-reaching service. I also link to Facebook through it in the hopes that some of my friends there might read me and consider returning. And, if you 146 viewers were to tell just one friend and they in turn…you know… about my blog, maybe at some point it might catch the eye of by someone who just needs a blockbuster novel to publish, or at the very least, represent for me. And really, wouldn’t that topic be a nice one to keep up with? Unless I get more work done on my house, but I’m not putting myself through that again for a while. Well, maybe not until the spring, anyway.

284 pounds!? I knew I shoulda backed off on the punkin’ pie.


A Little Night Blog

November 17, 2010

Why do things happen “overnight”? You always hear things like, “it was like that new shopping mall went up overnight” or “your nephew shot up 6 inches overnight”. WOW! How come things like that never happen in the daytime? Imagine little Johnny sitting at his desk in school and all of a sudden…oh, wait, never mind….I think most boys do grow  during the day, and it’s usually at that point that the teacher calls panicky Johnny to come up to the blackboard…but that’s getting away from my point.  It’s a right of passage, boys. You’ll look back at that one day and laugh.

Back to  my point– and how come things don’t happen “overday”? Kids apparently don’t grow (seriously now) in the daytime and shopping malls (and Heaven knows roads) don’t get built then either—come on, you’ve driven past construction sites amply marked with flourescent orange “men working” warning signs. Okay, that’s not fair, maybe they work where you are, but around here, I could pass a group of workers at 8:17 AM and they’d be on a lunch break. And the moon, it only comes out at night. It doesn’t ,or rather, the sun doesn’t come out at day. And really the sun doesn’t come out, unless it’s been cloudy, but then of course it’s assumed it’s in the daytime. Things can happen during the day AND during the night, but nothing really ever happens overday. Nothing ever goes bump in the day, either, unless it’s me, bumping into the wall, usually with full cup of hot coffee but that doesn’t normally happen until after I’ve washed the floors. So, give up walking around with coffee or washing the floors? You decide.

Happy birthday Danny DeVito. You, too, Flavius Claudius Julianus.

Speaking of going bump (and clang, and clatter and grunt and groan) in the night, Lou’s son and HVAC Man (with his superhero cape on) were here until well past 10 last night working on that heating situation. They got here somewhere between 4 and 5 and they broke and had a couple of slices of pizza with us. We decided to call out instead of having the fish we intended to have so we wouldn’t be eating in front of them and could also offer them something as well. And, drum roll please…..rat a tat a tat…. We STILL have no heat in the addition. The new electrical board he got was faulty and by the grace of fate, hadn’t destroyed the one he was replacing and he put that one back in so at least the rest of the house would have heat. And so it goes.

Oxford Dictionary’s word of the year for 2010 is the Sarah Palin humdinger, refudiate. They say there is evidence of its use way long before her Twitter postings while she was running as a vice presidential nominee and that’s why they decided to give it such an honorary position. It’s used as a verb loosely meaning ‘to reject’. Well, I think that’s utterly stupiotic, which is my sister’s word from years and years ago. I blogged about it  on the 30th anniversary of its coinage just over a year ago. Here it is.

A Story For Halloween

October 30, 2009

Because I won’t have a blog running tomorrow, I won’t be able to refer to one of the “anniversaries” I had mentioned that I ran across in my old journal while I was writing my Florida Tan story. Tomorrow is the 31st anniversary of my sister’s coining her fabulous word, “STUPIOTIC”. I think it speaks for itself. And I still use it, in quite a few instances.

Just as an FYI, I had marked that day down in an old journal I used to keep. That’s how I know it was the anniversary of when my sister first uttered that little gem. I came across that while I researching my Florida Tan Story, which I  serialized in my blog and you can get to it by clicking “Florida Tan Tuesday” under the categories list over here in the right hand margin.

I should start campaigning for Oxford t0 put STUPIOTIC in the list of considerations for word of the year for 2011. At least, thank the powers that be, they didn’t make “amazing” the word of the year.

The Answer Is….

November 16, 2010

For a while now, I’ve had this idea stuck in my craw and up until last night Ariel has kind of poo-pooed it. I’ll tell you about that in a second, so…read fast!

First, though, this past weekend, while we were staying at the Crowne Plaza in Manhattan, I had the opportunity to take stock of my surroundings in the water closet and it occurred to me I have been lax in my “bottle openers in hotel rooms usually found in the bathroom” pictorial essay and to my chagrin, there wasn’t one in room 2619. But I’ve filed that thought away and will be more alert in the future.

I also had the opportunity to watch countless cooking shows on the Food Network, which, over the weekend featured “can’t do without” Thanksgiving recipes. Besides all the “y’all’s” (and you know who I mean, y’all!) and the “go ahead and add your…”, “go ahead and stir that…”, “go ahead and set that aside” (I’ve blogged about going ahead before), it struck me odd that we’re meant to be enticed by that ‘mmm-mmm’ testimonial and sudden look of enjoyment, that borders on ecstacy, along with a “now that’s what I call turkey stuffing (or pheasant under glass, or a ham and cheese sandwich) when each chef tastes his or her own creation. It’s kind of like how I feel at the end of each blog entry. Hey, someone has to!’

It’s so light you can cut it with a feather.

So, last night, during the fantastic pasta dish I put together…mmm-mmm…we were watching Jeopardy, as we always do and simultaneously we looked at each other in disbelief over one contestant’s “question” about which state was named after a British King, or worded closely to that. Later in the game another question/answer was played in reference to a title by Mark Twain and the response was “A Connecticut Yankee King Arthur’s Court”. And this was where Ariel admitted that what I’ve said for a long, long time may have some credence. Let me explain.

I’ve always thought the contestants were given the answers somehow, or in some way had them at hand, perhaps on a huge board of possible responses because frequently Alex Trebek will follow up a an answer with, “Now’s the time for ‘such and such’” when that answer would have been incorrectly given at a previous point in the game So, last night, when the contestant guessed Connecticut as the state that was named after a British King (when we synchronously agreed that was one thing he’ll have to live with for a very long time) and then later, there was the “Connecticut Yankee” response…that’s when Ariel said I might got somethin’ thar! Okay, fine, maybe he didn’t say it quite like that but you get the idea. So, do they have the answers at their disposal or is all really a coincidence? But, really, King Connecticut?

Now, now this is what I call a blog!

Encore Un Jour Avec Un Titre Francais

November 11, 2010

Things come in threes, hence a third French title.

We are the proud owners of a brand spanking new, bright and shiny, bouncy…, uh, maybe skip the bouncy…mailbox. Lou came yesterday with his brother-in-law and a member of his original crew, Manuel. While he remained in the truck the other two went to work and in no time at all they were done. I just have to put my house number on it. I’ll do that later on today. Isn’t she a beaut?…all black and all!  And I think I had to run to the post office for the last time yesterday. According to the clerk that took care of me, I was all caught up with my held mail since the driver made a note to not deliver. Now I have to wait until Friday to see how my new box works.

Chuck, Chuck bo Buck, bonana fanna fo f….. Uh, uh, uh!

Oh, great! There’s going to be a chocolate shortage soon. A Western African drought, unrest in the Ivory Coast and the ever-increasing popularity of dark chocolate (because of health benefits such as being high in flavonoid antioxidants–whatever they are; not to mention it’s just plain yummy) have contributed to the raised concerns of an oncoming shortage and the costs for a fix could skyrocket. Dark chocolate is outselling milk chocolate and is far surpassing the trend from two years ago; white chocolate, which, really, is just silly. Three million tons of cocoa worth $5.1 billion are produced each year around the world, and a substantial chunk is in my freezer.

And now it’s time to put my feet up after our walk  and get pecking out some more of Chapter 3.


Without Coffee? Y?

September 24, 2010

It really is a new world out there, technologically speaking, as I’ve recently learned, e.g., how pencils are so noisy on paper. I have to admit, at the dawn of this information age, I was the last person I’d ever expect to come to rely on it, but here I am, using technology for everything from work, to listening to music, to decide what rental movies I want delivered to my mailbox, to adding to my list of virtual friends, to writing my blog. Oh yes, and my book. Your what, Brian?

But I, as much as I’ve come to find technology can be my friend (except when my Internet connection drops, which hopefully will be alleviated with the installation of the new router last night), and at times a substitute companion even over the TV, I will never give up my coffee, unlike a study group of a thousand millennials who say they would rather go a week without coffee or tea than without Wi-Fi access. Millennial, for those of you not quite up on your tech talk, is another term for Generation Y, Generation Next, Gamer Generation or Net Generation. More than 70% of the U.S. respondents consider Wi-Fi a necessity in restaurants and shopping malls. 64 % of U.S. and 89% Chinese Wi-Fi users say it would be almost impossible to maintain friendships. Not having physical interactions with people is also kind of tough on friendship maintenance, but at least when the do get together they can sit silently, with vacant expressions on their faces across from each other and text people they don’t even know while they’re out having a burger together.

But then I might be contradicting myself because with the Wi-Fi connection we have, it enables our phones, our mini computers, to link up to that “other world” with the greatest of ease and I like it. But my existance doesn’t rely on connecting to the internet, and let’s face it, we all have a tie to cyberspace. After all, I was able to text my other players and got the points for Eddie Fisher. Dead at 82. But now I hear my text didn’t go through. Technology, not friendly. But at least I had my coffee.

But I come from a crossover generation that has seen so much technology come and go and become obsolete the very next day. My generation knows exactly what’s being spoken about the second we hear the term “box of 45’s”, without a look of quizzical panic. Someday, someone will say “text” or “Wi-Fi” and a whole new generation will have that same indifferent look on their faces, push a button somewhere on their person to activate the information chip embedded elsewhere on, or in, their person and figure out what a box of 45’s is, quicker than I found out what a millennial is.

There was no Lou Crew yesterday.

You know what was kind of fun the other day? There was a fly in the house. It must have snuck in while the guys were working. How could it not with everything open? I was in the kitchen and it was buzzing around haphazardly, minding its own business, landing first on the window, then the counter, then the window, just doing what flies do. I watched it for a little while thinking, hmm, it’s been a long time really since we’ve had a fly in the house… it kind of takes me back. Then I killed it.

You know what else I think I’ll be busy killing again? Those damn stink bugs. They’re on the way back and allegedly in greater numbers than last year. They first appeared in Allentown, Pa., in a shipment from Southeast Asia in the mid 1990’s and they’ve migrated to east coast in droves. And now they’re droving live crazy.

When the Lou-Natics left the other day, there were several of them in the new room. They come in to the house to escape the cooling outdoor temperatures. They can get in from smallest of spaces. They don’t reproduce indoors, so that’s good and they don’t bite, but they will release that rancid dead corpse smell as a defense mechanism or when you crush them. So, be sure to use anything but your hands. That odor, though, can attract more stink bugs–Halyomorpha halys for all you entomologists out there–and dead ones can attract other scavenger insects. They are virtually impervious to most commercial pesticides and apparently even industrial strength ones used by exterminators. Believe me, I know. They’ve tried every means available to them over the last few seasons during this time of the year to no avail.

But the government is working on a stink bug luring pheromone that will hopefully attract them elsewhere than in your house, but be assured, they carry no disease and are no indication of unsanitary conditions, though I could stand to run a dust cloth. But with all the construction, why bother?

That’s a heck of a way to end a Friday blog. But there you have it!

The New Addition ~ or ~ Back…With A Vengeance

September 23, 2010

There’s big news afoot concerning the new addition, but before I tell you that, there’s another new addition to tell you about; the arrival of Ariel’s niece’s baby boy, Yonathan Rey. He was due to arrive over a week ago and when he still wouldn’t make his appearance by this past Tuesday, Baby Rita, as she likes to be called, was brought to the hospital so her doctor could induce labor. But even that wasn’t working. This time the natural progression of things wasn’t cooperating so yesterday at 10 am, the baby was born via Caesarean section. So, without further ado, I present on behalf of proud parents Baby Rita and Juan, 8 lb-7oz, 19 1/4″ baby Yonathan.

Precious. I also heard yesterday that a friend of mine became a grandpa and another person at the office had a baby. Man, that stork has had a hectic schedule.

And then there’s the new addition, which now has half a wood floor in it, as evidenced below. When they arrived, I saw Lou was moving around with greater ease and was even on the floor lining up the slats. So, his back must have been feeling better.

My back, on the other hand, had a tremendous shock early yesterday morning. It’s been ages really since I’ve been at my weights and I thought, being Wednesday, I would finish out the week, sort of re-wet my feet as it were, start slow, and temper getting back into the groove for three days, see summer out with a good workout and hopefully be ready to go full tilt come next week. I set up my exercises, got my gear on and got down to work. I was working my back, doing lat pulldowns, and also was going to work my triceps. First up, back-always start with the larger muscle group. The way I get into position for this particular exercise is to hold the hand bar that’s connected to the cable that hooks onto weight bar and use the weight on the bar to counter my fat a$$ as I lower down to a sitting position on the floor. I grabbed the bar, lowered myself and I kept going with no resistance and before I knew it I had landed somewhere between the aforementioned fat a$$, my tail bone and the small of my back and the next thing I knew I was flat on the floor. To say I was stunned is an understatement, and I wasn’t quite sure if I conked my noggin on the floor as well but I was fairly sure I hadn’t. After the initial shock, and saw that I was able to move and get up, the thought that swelled up was MY TEETH. They, too felt fine.  Then I investigated the reason for my mishap…I hadn’t loaded my weights. Yesterday, DUH was spelled B-r-i-a-n.  Well, it’s spelled that way quite often. But yesterday was with all CAPS. As a pre-emptive measure, I downed a couple of doses of Advil but I think I’m out of the woods as far as any severe pain.

Fortunately, something like that should really only happen once, but I didn’t give myself the chance to find out today. I’m a little sore, I think the jolt caught up with me. So, I’ll see how it all feels tomorrow and try again.

Dead Tired But Still Rambling

September 7, 2010

Back from one of the greatest camping weekends ever. You would think that it was because it didn’t rain, but that’s not the case. It did rain, a drizzle between Saturday and Sunday but it was enough to have puddles of water under the tent which is now drying in the garage. Plus, you know by now that we simply discount the rain because just like there’s a bonfire on Friday and Saturday nights, there’s rain at least one day during any given weekend. But, ooof, it got so cold and we didn’t expect that. It was cold enough for our Uni-Lazies, which, naturally, are sitting on a table in the basement, where they’ve been, sadly awaiting their use. All season long it’s been uncharacteristically warm and we haven’t needed them. This time, assuming the same would hold true…. yup, you guessed it. We had a great rapport with the guys that run that business and we wanted to get them some “action” shots of us actually wearing them to put on their website and not just modeling them. Our pictures we sent them way back are on their Facebook Fan Page, though.  But we made the most of it all the while cursing ourselves out for not having something warmer with us.

It was party after party and meeting up with friends old and new all weekend long and there wasn’t time for much else other than getting from one event to the other although we were either too early or too late for one of them because it was a ghost town when we got there, but everywhere you looked there was something going on.

Among the great memories of the last party weekend at camp is that I fell in love yet again with my Droid! Over breakfast down at the café (because we didn’t really plan for a second breakfast either, somehow putting out of our minds we were there for 3 days this weekend) I saw I had another system upgrade on my phone. The last time was for a whole new version and now I’m at 2.2. This upgrade was for Flashplayer 10.1that I’ve been trying to download for a few months. And now that it’s there, I can now get the Radio Chick on Shovio either live or any of her archived shows. And you wanna laugh? We had one playing on the drive home and the picture quality was much clearer than on the computer. Are you laughing?

When we got home, the first thing I did was take the requisite pics of the work the Lou-Natics did on Friday while we were gone, but I’m not posting them today because well, I’m writing this last night and I was fairly comatose since we unloaded the truck and put stuff away and it took me quite a while to get going on this blog. But don’t you worry, tomorrow (really today) is another day and there’ll be another phase on the house completed and I’ll put them all up then. Plus, I think I have some from Thursday evening after they left that I have to put up as well. I just confused myself.

I think it was the large chocolate milkshake I had to wash down the double quarter pounder we got at the McDonald’s/Exxon complex we traditionally stop at for a fill up and “gas” that had me in the stupor that I was for most of the day. It was there, waiting at the window to pay, were we had a spider incident. I don’t know if I should damn or praise my peripheral vision, but suddenly while I was completely distracted, bringing up The Chick on my phone, I sensed movement on the windshield. Sure enough it was a spider, one of tiny ones that look  like a caraway seed with legs that jump the length of a room in a single bound. Those ones really creep me out (like there’s a difference between any of them). Here’s an aside, people often ask how I can enjoy camping in the woods when spiders (among other things) are plentiful and prone to show up at any given moment. I can handle most bugs, but I just can’t….. So, anyway, I knew if I took my eyes off the windshield, that little bugger would move but I needed to find something to smash it with. Fortunately for all involved the hammers were in the back of truck so I had to use a napkin. Quick as a flash, I slammed my hand up to the glass but the spider fell. And where? On my LEG! So, there were are, with Ariel transacting with “Clark Kent” at the cashier window and me dealing with a jumping spider on my knee. I nearly ended up through the cashier window before the money for our order. I hit the thing so hard, I had a red spot and then later it looked like I had actually might have gotten bit and I thought maybe I actually pushed his fangs through my skin.

One fascinating factoid I came away with from this camping trip is that Canadian Twizzlers are made with real sugar as opposed to the ones made in The States which are made with corn syrup and things like that.

Oh my gosh, it’s today now and I just read through this. Man, can I ramble, or what?  It happens when I’m dead tired. That, and I wake up super late. Now I gotta get to work. Bye!

Where Is Loverboy When You Need Them

August 27, 2010

I’m back, but briefly. I’m at the end of my work week and it’s been a grueling one indeed and I have four more days, including tomorrow and Sunday to meet the end of the month deadline, working for the weekend, so to speak.

I never even got to tell you about the wedding I missed. From the sound of it, it was a dodged bullet, but one that now I wish I had attended so I could blog about it firsthand. The story spilled out over last weekend when we were out to dinner with my aunt and uncle, who had the great fortune to attend said Floridian wedding as, VFW’ish as can get in which the bridesmaids, of a considerable advanced age, flashed not only each other, but the attendees, (and I also understand there was nether-region grabbing of some of the guests) some of whom traveled all the way from the great Garden State. It was moments before I dug into a long awaited queen cut prime rib with the saltiest wild mushroom demi glaze known to man, which ended up being completely inedible that this indelible story was told. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I was so disappointed because no amount of scraping off the sauce or sopping it up helped. The very first bite was so salty that burned my throat on the way down, but I could feel the pressure rise up in my head. Now THAT’s salty.

I didn’t want to do it, but I”m afraid I must. I must tell you that I’ve finally learned the secret pathway to fame, and perhaps fortune and it’s not by sweating and dropping a few tears and an errant ‘y’ now and then as you toil over your keyboard in the hopes of penning the world’s next greatest novel, hoping to get recognized. It doesn’t even require much talent. No, it’s as simple as a few key elements; abs of steel, a tan, a tube of hair gel and there was one more thing…oh, yeah, a clean shirt. You know, “gym, tan, laundry.” Not only does Mike Sorrentino garner sixty thousand dollars an episode on The Jersey Shore (and an iconic American art form known as the Soap Opera suffers in the balance) he also takes in between fifteen and fifty thousand dollars for personal appearances. He’s set to release a fitness video and also a line of “dietary” supplements. Once you get all toned like Mikey there, you can buy one of his shirts which I’m sure will be easy to lift to reveal all your hard work in the gym after he starts his fashion line. You can keep yourself refreshed and recharged knowing that he also drinks Vitamin Water and you can relax on Monday nights with a good gimlet made with yummy, Situation-promoted Devotion vodka while you watch him tear up the dance floor on Dancing With The Stars where it is reported that if he makes it to final round he can make as much as $365,000. But wait, there’s more. He has applied to copyright and trademark the words “The Situation”. He just received and undisclosed (nor confirmed, actually) six figure advance to for the new literary classic he’s about to write: Here’s The Situation.  Ah, but it’ll be over in about fifteen minutes.

Yeah, and I’ll be working all weekend, making my humble little living in my humble little home office, posting my end of the month numbers, cancelling the plans I had and damning my little beer belly for not being published yet.  Speaking of  beer belly, I’m also sad to say and make my apologies to those of you affected by any bogus notifications you might have gotten, I don’t really have sexy pictures in my profile. That’s a message that seems to be popping up on some of my email contacts’ computers (it is also happening to me from others) but I’m here to tell you and I’m sorry to disappoint you, I don’t have any sexy pictures. I mean, look at me! So if you get that message, don’t open it.

And even though the house project is moving along, yesterday was probably one of the more frustrating, if not THE most annoying since this entire project began. Just trying to make contact with a certain “other” party ( not the Lou-natics), who apparently has a sense of self-importance that there is no time to talk on the phone for two lousy seconds because all of this party’s business is conducted through email, email that also goes unanswered. It was an underlying factor throughout the entire day until it finally got semi-resolved by late afternoon.

But I have a few more pictures and now with the latest addition, the brickwork can get progress.


Whoops, I said briefly, didn’t I? Okay, bye!